Surgery Day

Today is the day. I am actually scared to death, and I have had a lot of surgeries and I am usually really calm. I want everything to go ok with my surgery and my recovery. My little girls needs me. I know that no one is following but if you came across this blog keep me in your thoughts. I have some final packing to do, spending time with my daughters and then we will be leaving for the hospital in about 3 hours.

Prep

Well I just started my prep. The Moviprep isn't as bad as some but still not good. Plus it is a lot to drink. The laxatives I took last night cleaned me out a lot too. I am feeling ok, still have a sore throat. I hope I feel ok in the morning. I plan on getting some good sleep but doubt I will with this prep! I plan on bring my laptop to the hospital and will post once I feel up to it. I am down 4 lbs from all the liquid, that is the only good news to report.lol

2 days!

There is so much going on right now! My biggest concern is my sore throat I have had for a month. The antibiotics did not take it away. I am hoping it is just allergies. I have tried everything: Tylenol,throat logenzes,gargling salt water and a humidifier. I am going to try lemon juice and honey tonight. I am so upset and annoyed. The nurse said it shouldn't be an issue unless I start running a fever or my throat becomes more inflammed. I am really worried. I have a bad feeling. I don't want to reschedule but with my luck it will happen:/
I started my liquid diet yesterday, 2lbs down! The plan is liquid diet today and laxatives. Then Tuesday more liquid,more laxatives and the Moviprep. I am so ready. Nervous about leaving my babies but I just want to feel better. Well I guess the countdown begins.

8 days

A little over a week left. I am excited and very nervous. Still worried about getting sick but mostly worried that surgery won't help. So many complications could occur:Anesthesia issues, Ileus, narrowing or leaking at the anastomosis site..etc What if it doesn't work and I am still constipated? I just want to feel better.I don't think it is too much to ask to feel better for my daughters. I am 26 years old, I deserve to live my life healthy!

Sick

So I was sick 3 weeks ago and my sore throat never went away. I decided to go to the doctor,being that surgery is 2 weeks away. He said my ears and throat were both red, and I was running a fever(had no clue). We decided it would be best to try some antiobiotics,so hopefully after the 10 day course of drugs I will feel better! I am so worried that he will reschedule the surgery:(

Took a tour

Today I took a tour of the hospital where I will be staying. It is really nice, it kinda felt like a hotel! I feel more comfortable now. I still have a sore throat,kinda starting to freak out. I do not want to be or get sick!

Haven't posted in a few days. I am doing fine. Just sticking to a very bland diet. Everything I eat will make me distended but if I am careful, I won't have to be in pain.

Was very pissed off yesterday. Found out my soon-to-be old PCP told my MIL(also her patient) that my constipation was just my Thyroid. Ok first off, why when my levels are fine am I still constipated? Second off, why in the HELL are you talking about me to someone else? HIPPA violation!!!!! Ugh I can't stand her, she is done. Now I just need to find a new doctor. I always have bad luck with female doctors:/

My tattoo is finished

Well my tattoo for my baby girls is finished and almost healed, it is still scabby. It took two sessions and about 5 1/2 hours total. The "branch" is actually the symbol for Aries, which is my daughters zodiac sign. The two Hummingbirds are my daughters. The three Cherry Blossoms are the Embryos we put back with our IVF. The bud is the Embryo that did not implant. This thing hurt, my last tattoo did not but this was HORRIBLE!

Hard Day

Each day gets harder and harder. I am becoming depressed. We tried taking the girls to the park today,but I felt so bad that I just sat there. Story of my life:( I am such a waste of space. I am worthless. I am a horrible mother, they won't even want to be a part of me eventually. This stupid illness has ruined my life. I don't think it would really matter if anything did happen during surgery, all I am is a burden to my family. Those I love the most.

Insurance

Well I spoke to the surgeon's office. My insurance APPROVED THE SURGERY!!! They approved it for one day BUT the nurse said they do this a lot because they don't want to pay for 5 days if you are only going to need to be in 4 days. So they have something called Utilization Review which every day calls and talks to the insurance company to cover the next day. What a pain but whatever, no complaints. What sucks is I have a cold, it is going through my house. Better now than later but I swear I will wear a mask, drink my OJ and carry hand sanitizer everywhere if I need to!

Worried

I wish I wasn't so worried all the time. Now I am concerned that insurance will deny the surgery. Also, I am afraid that my Preop labs will come back abnormal and we will have to reschedule or what if I get sick?!.Surgery is 4 weeks away and it feels like a lifetime. I'm passed being ready. I never have a good day anymore. I want to feel better!